You Can't Judge a Book By It's Cover

I haven't posted in weeks and had every intention of sharing some of our recipes with you, in a post I have already titled, A Hummus Among Us.  However, since thinking about my day at work today, I am feeling a lot more like writing about my new job.  I know it is a little out there for a post of Let's Be Wellness, but it is something I am beginning to grow a passion for, and I think that having a passion for the work you are doing carries over into all other realms of your life.  Cause, let's face it, we spend just as much time at work as out of work.

 

For those of you who don't know, I am a Licensed Master Social Worker, or more commonly, a LMSW.  That is just a fancy way of saying someone who has spent a lot of money and time studying Social Work, and is able to make more money for the agency they work for because of some extra letters after their name.  For the past year I have been working as a therapist for the local mental health center.  I loved my job, my clients, the people I worked with but after almost a year, it was time for a change.  Back at my days at James Madison University  (GO DUKES!), I knew I wanted to "work with people", but I didn't know to what capacity.  I have always been interested in the criminal justice field, so I minored in this discipline.  It wasn't until the summer after my sophomore year, and an internship at the local Probation and Parole Office, I realized how intrigued I was by the so-called criminal mind.  This interest has sat as a small bud inside of me since 2005, waiting for the chance to grow into something beautiful.  And now almost 10 years later, I have been afforded the opportunity to not only "work with people" but to work with those "criminal minds", and was finally given the opportunity for my budding love of the field of criminal justice to grow .

 

When I called and texted my friends and family to tell them I had accepted a position with the mental health team at the jail I was met with a myriad of responses.  From "are you sure?" to "we are so proud of you" to the joking "oooooh the inmates are going to looooove you" I got from my friends. I think I heard every response possible.  I replied with "yeses" "thank yous" and "lols", but inside I was anxious.  Was I making a mistake?  How was I going to handle hundreds of sex deprived men?  What about the first sex offender I would have to sit down with? Was I actually brave enough to go up onto the units with the inmates? Or would meet with them via the Polycom system, safe with a computer monitor and hundreds of feet of hallways, sally ports and correctional officers, some with guns, sitting between us?

 

Well my friends, the anxiety has dissipated for the most.  And I have been able to answer all of those questions I asked myself, and more.  First, no I absolutely 110% did not make a mistake.  If anything this has been the most life changing career decision I have made to this point. I truly believe I have found something else I am passionate about.  I go up onto the units daily.  Male, female, general population, medical, segregation, protective custody, booking.  You name it, I've been there.  I don't allow a screen to separate me from the inmates as I believe there is something to be said for human to human interaction and expression of empathy. In regards to handling the men? Fairly easy. Kind of like non-sex deprived men, if you ask me.  Set boundaries, don't let them walk all over you, don't let your kindness be taken for weakness.  Follow these rules and call them on their BS, and you are good to go.  The first sex offender I met?  Extremely mentally ill and a victim of lifelong abuse himself.  While his crimes make my skin crawl, it does not change the fact that he is a childhood sexual abuse survivor, a victim of prison rape, and more importantly like every other inmate I come into contact with, he is human.

 

I think that an interaction with a particular inmate I had on Friday, and again today has really lit the fuel in my fire for a change to be made.  We are so scared of "Criminals" without knowing anything about the person, that we almost dehumanize them.  We see these men and women as their crimes, "oh he's a drug dealer" or "she's just a prostitute" and forget that they are made up of more than the mistakes they have made.  Sure, there are bad people in jail.  Just like there are bad people on the street. Or maybe even at your office.  But a lot of the inmates I see on a daily basis are either very sick, or are good people who have led some pretty horrendous lives and have done what they need to in order to survive their circumstances.

 

Take this for instance: 

 

The inmate that I previously mentioned and have met with on two separate occasions over the past two weeks.  He is in general population, currently in jail for a drug charge but with a rap sheet including robberies, burglaries and other drug related convictions.  He has been in and out of jail for 10 years with a stay at prison for a year.  He is a black kid, with tattoos on his face, neck and arms. And to many of you, he is a gangster thug drug dealer.  A hopeless case, and just another name to add to the list of deadbeats. 

 

To me he is the kid who grew up in the projects without a dad.  Surrounded with gangs, drug deals and violence.  A kid whose mom was always putting him down, and sent him to an institution to "deal with himself" from the age of 10 to 16.  A kid who felt forced to turn to the streets for love and support.  A kid who tells me he has never asked for help because, "it's not what we do". The same kid whose written request for mental health services literally said, "I need"  because he didn't even know how to ask for that help.   A kid who looks at me, saying he has never been a victim of abuse or violence, but his eyes scream he has. A kid wanting a better way but telling me, "you are the only person who has talked to me, listened and made me feel like more than my convictions".  He is a kid who is terrified that he will end up back in jail, or dead, because the streets are the only home he has known.  

 

If you choose to view the inmate from the first description you most likely aren't going to want to give him a chance.  He may have some work history that will get him in for an interview, but the first time you see his face tattoos, or run his record, you are going to turn him away.  Just like the 23 other  hiring managers he has met with over the past month.  But, if you choose to think of him as someone who wants the change, and who has not learned any differently you may be willing to give him a chance.  To not let the stigma of being a criminal stand in the way of helping someone better themselves.  For we are all human, and like someone once told me, "you can't judge a book by it's cover". 

 

I challenge you, as always, to examine your beliefs.  What stereotypes that you hold have caused you to misjudge or keep from getting to know someone?  I then challenge you to pick that book with torn pages, broken binding and bland cover off the shelf rather than picking the novel with the flashy cover.  You might be surprised by what you find.